whut did we doo dat wuz so bad?

I not shur whut we did dis tyme. Dare has bin all kinda trubbles heer. Furst ar mom put lotsa stuf in her gofurride, an eben put sum ob her stuff she wares in a big rolly box and took dat tu! We gots lotsa hugs an she sed sumtin bout wurkin far away, an den she abandoned us! She wuz gon fur 3 sleeps! Al wuz heer, we like him a lot, speshully me, but hes not ar mom. Mom fynully came home at dinner tyme an we was soooooo egsited tu see her! We wuz hungry, cuz it wuz dinner tyme, so wen we wuz in the owt helpin her bring in her stuff, we foun sum food fur arselfs by the big hole dat big fat nasty ugly bucky toofed smelly flower eatin growndhog lives in. I ges we wuznt spose tu eat dat. We dint no! Alla sudden, we wuz in da goferride, mom wuz cryin an stuff, and Al wuz drivin us tu a pawlace we neber bin beefur. Dey put us in a room dat snifft like the TED! Ruh-roh. I barfed in dare and dey made us go to the owt. I barfed lots more, an Byrdie barfed tu! Dat stuf we ate musta ben speshul growdhog food not fur doggies (we dint know dat, onest!) We dint no it wuz such a tarable ting tu do, butt it musta ben, cuz den mom let dem put us in jale!!! AN SHE LEFT US DARE!!!! TU BE TORCHURED!!! FOR A LONG, LONG TYME!!! Oh my doG!, sum ob ar furs on ar frunt legs wuz buzzd off an we wuz stabbed wif needuls, gibben al kinda nasty stuf so we dint barf no mor, an we cudnt eben see each udder, we wuz in solitaree cornfinemint. SHE ABANDONED US DARE! I thawt weed nebber see her again and wuz bary, bary sad an skeered- Byrdie speshully. After we ben dare a hole day, bein torchured lyke I sed, dey fynully came back an let us go home wif dem, butt we had dese tings on ar legs ober da bare spot dey made (Byrdie chood hers off partway in da gofurride).
We tride hard tu be good doggys fur da hole necks day, we wuz kwiet, an dint bark,bark,bark, an onlee ate ar own fud, butt maybee we wernt good enuf, cuz mom put her stuff in da rolly box agin, gived us big hugs and left us for anudder 4 sleeps!!! Al sed she wuz werkin, an he gived us ar food an tuk us fur walkies (we lyke him a lot, eben if Byrdie got cornfused wunts an runned away frum him). Dis hole ting wuz so awful dat it made me hab da poopies tu, an Al had tu gib me a tale baf ebery tyme I went tu the owt, an ebery tyme I dint make it tu the owt. Byrdie is OK, she wuz reely sad doe.
Mom finully came home yisturday, at dinner tyme agin, an we went tu the owt agin, butt we dint go enywares by dat hole! We dint wanna go tu jale agin fer steelin his fud! I still gots da poopies, an mom cuts my furs short back dare so da poopy dont stick so bad an wash off bedder. She just gave me sum speshul treets dat she got frum da TED and sumting tu drink dat she sez will make da poopies go away. I hope so, cuz I hates bafs. An whut eber we did we will neber do it agin!

Poor taumatized dogs! What an ordeal! They had eaten mole and gopher poison peanuts that my landlord had put out. Thankfully, Al had seen them eating something outside, I investigated, and long story short, we got them to the emergency vets just in the nick of time. The poison reacts with stomach acid to create a deadly gas  that when barfed up is extremely toxic to anyone who breathes it. So the girls had to spend 24 hours at the vets on IV and supportive care, and since there is no antidote, we just had to hope for the best. As soon as I get the intestinal difficulties straightened out, they should be fine, thank God! My bank account is considerably lighter, but at least I still have my girls.
The girls sure don’t understand that I went out of town on business (a fairly rare thing) but the project is done, and the beautiful work I did can be seen here.